Midnight: Girl ™ wakes up, wants out of her car seat (she had dozed off driving home from dinner). Hungry and wet, she makes her presence known by warbling a weird version of Donke Shane. Sounds like crying. I bring to her room and do that baton hand-off to Mrs. Conductor. Unlike the Americans at the Olympics, we don’t drop it.
12:20 a.m. Baby fed, changed and in bed. Wife says mission accomplished. Failure was not an option. She goes to bed. wakes me up to find her eye drops. Goes back to bed.
12:23 a.m. Crying. Let the games begin.
12:25 a.m. Told by wife to go and check on her. Nevermind I don’t know what I am doing or that I had just woken up. I trapize into the room and enter the “Temple of Doom.” Just minus the weird priest ripping hearts out.
12:30 a.m. Baby still not asleep. Instead, eyes wide open, big smile on her face as if to say, “You ain’t gettin’ sleep tonight, daddy.” I think it’s practice for when she turns 16.
12:45 a.m. After trying with the pacifier which keeps falling out of her mouth. Interesting note. She watns it but doesn’t want to hold it in her mouth. Go figure. Anyway, I make the executive decision that she might want to be held and rocked.
12:50 a.m. Baby out cold. Put into crib. Instantly wakes back up. Bookies in Vegas making money off my inability to put a kid down. Around this time, a scream comes from the boy ™’s room. He’s having a dream (I kid you not) about green beans and carrots. I can hear him say “I don’t want to eat them. I want to eat spinach.” I pat his back and he’s back out. Really, spinach. Popeye would be thrilled.
1 a.m. Executive decision (meaning I consult with wife). I decide she might want more food. Make new bottle and put those nifty anti-gas drops in them. We are going for broke.
1:10 a.m. Back upstairs. Baby crying. Give bottle. Swats it away. Puts hands in mouth which is like a universal sign for food when you are three-months-old. Try again, plays with bottle with tongue. Looks at me and smiles. I know, she’s an infant, but I think she’s playing me.
1:15 a.m. Resolve to let her cry it out. Figure I don’t know what to do now. So far, changed diaper, offered food, rocked, pacifier and sang to her. Eyes still wide open. Baby is mocking me. I threatened to spend her college fund by going on eBay and getting some Transformers toys from the 1980s. She smiles. She knows I am too cheap. Damn.
1:30 a.m. On the computer reading about the population changes in ancient Japan. Thanks Wikipedia. Go on Facebook. Ignored by people who I try to chat with. Baby crying.
1:35 a.m. Boy ™ screams. Scares the crap out of me. He’s instantly back out. No clue.
1:40 a.m. Back in girl ™’s room. pleading with her. Explaining that dad needs sleep. She laughs. I pick her up and rock her. she conks out. Bookies are eying big bucks, but no whammies. Put into crib and she doesn’t wake up. The heavens open and the Angels on High are singing. Bookies furious and put a hit on me.
2: 24 a.m. So far, she’s still quiet and out. Going to bed. Will have three or four long blogs in the morning about this as well as some PDFs and interviews with the major players. Will check local media to see their coverage.
4 Comments
June 28, 2009 at 6:18 am
By chance, is she teething already?
June 28, 2009 at 9:56 am
Funny you mention that. Mrs. Conductors seems to feel that she is teething. I say it’s not likely as she’s not even four months. The books all say that babies start to teeth at around six months. Yes, they can start earlier but more than two months early? I can’t believe that.
We start her on cereal in a week or so. I’ll let you know how that is going. This is going to be the baby who is still using the one-month-old nipples for Avent (the No. 2’s) as opposed to the 3’s which most kids at this age use.
I don’t know. Oh well. The only thing I do know is that I am tired.
June 28, 2009 at 10:48 am
Oh, Mr Conductor…I found a lot of those books are a cruel joke on parents. If you are searching for what is ‘normal’, it will be your situation that is bound to be ‘abnormal’. But that’s only apparent to you a week after you finally have it all figured out.
I’d be willing to bet that little angel of yours is teething. (My girl teethed at 3mos too) If all else failed, I found that having a frozen washcloth for her to chew on seemed to help. Hang in there! I wish you the best of luck!!
June 28, 2009 at 5:09 pm
We are going to try the old standbys, and find out. It’s also hit or miss. Last night, we didn’t give her a bath and it was hell. Today, she slept like a princess. Wonderful. And she’s all smiles so it’s good.